The definition of the English word to “remember” is the cognitive process whereby past experience is brought back into the present. In remembering we continually put something back together again and again. In doing this we keep something from the past alive and present in our experience, our “here” and “now”. We re-member (put parts that are separate back into some kind of a memory, idea and possibly a story) our past often and usually it is done very unconsciously.
Scientific research shows that when we do this (re-member things) we build stronger and stronger pathways regarding whatever subject is continually being remembered. So, the more you think about something, the stronger it gets. It then often becomes a habit and can even become unconscious. Most of our lives are “run” by our unconscious… and this can be very helpful (Think of riding a bicycle and all the motions and movements that you automatically do) and also a cause of great suffering (reacting to things in the present moment with contraction and fear by automatically re-membering similar things from the past that were hurtful).
Pain is the sudden loss of someone you love.
Suffering is remembering it all the time.
So, yes your pain is real, as well as your suffering is very real!
And you have the power to focus your thoughts in a way that can either move you into thoughts and “feelings” that are uplifting or thoughts and “feelings” that cause you suffering. The important idea here is that you have a choice in this once you become conscious!
I know of few people who consciously wish to suffer. So, maybe we simply have some bad habits! The good news is that we are very smart (as evidenced by your reading this!) and we absolutely can change our habits through our point of focus and becoming more conscious. A habit is something we continue to do over and over again and it often becomes less and less conscious. A belief is also simply a thought we think over and over again and it often becomes less and less conscious and “taken for granted” or automatically assumed as “true”.
When you become conscious of your habits and beliefs that are causing you unnecessary suffering, through focus and attention you can change your neural pathways (the circuits in your brain that carry your re-membered thoughts) into stronger pathways that support your feelings of safety, joy, love, compassion, and healthy ways of reacting.
By doing simple daily meditations and being more conscious we can begin to “see” and “catch” those thoughts and beliefs that are causing us unnecessary suffering. Once we become more aware of them we can change them in ways that allow us to feel better and to function more wholly in the world. The help of a trained professional can assist us in this process of self-discovery. With the proper assistance we can become more easily aware of those things that are less consciously operating within ourselves. The Hakomi method of assisted self-discovery is one way of discovering and working to reduce unnecessary suffering.
Having assistance to work with illuminating and eliminating the energetic “structures” that we have created that support unnecessary suffering is something else that can be very helpful. Many of the sessions I offer address those energetic patterns and help to eliminate them without the need to even become consciously aware of them. The energetic roots of dysfunctional patterns can often be dissolved allowing for new ways of being and functioning that bring about or open the doors to more aliveness, peace, joy, happiness, creativity and love.
Change and growth can be achieved with more grace and ease than ever before. All the very powerful incoming energies of this time period in Earth’s history support our personal growth and transformation more than ever before. It is a joy and pleasure for me to assist others in their personal empowerment in whatever ways that might work best for each individual.
Wishing you much Love and Graceful Transformations
in this powerful time of growth and change!
"Your beliefs become your thoughts; Your thoughts become your words;
Your words become your actions; Your actions become your habits;
Your habits become your values; Your values become your destiny."
— Mahatma Gandhi